Ok I'm going to try and give a quick condensed version of my story, so I can get to my dilemma and possibly get some insight and advice on it.
I have been in a polyamory relationship. For those of you who don't know what that is, the literal translation is "many loves". My particular poly-relationship was a triangle. There was myself, my girlfriend Aidan, and my boyfriend Jake. Jake and I have been dating for two years, we had been dating Aidan for one year. On September 3, Aidan passed away. She had a rare heart condition and went peacefully in her sleep. Jake and I both have had a really tough time dealing with it. We miss her terribly. I was the one that found her that morning, so alot of my dreams of her have been nightmares, reliving that morning continously. My dreams have slowly began getting more and more positive (you can read about them in my journal), and I believe she may be trying to make contact, but I keep doubting my experiences and excusing it as my grief. Since her death it seems as though one thing after another is happening, bad things. And I've come to the conclusion that I want to try and cleanse myself. Healing and balance my chakra is what my mom says I should do. Jake says I should meditate. I am very spiritual, but I have never really been very good at meditating, and I've never tried to do anything with my chakras. I've got some books about it that I'm trying to learn from, but I'm not having much luck in gaining comfort with the idea of doing this on my own. I also bought some candles and stones to be present for when I'm ready to meditate. If anyone has any advice or experience on either one of these, I would surely appreciate it greatly!!